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text; 3:45 AM EST

[ktang]

Remember when I'd made that joke about M.O.D.O.K. needing to lose at least 30 lbs. to that freakishly oversized head of his if he ever planned on crossing the Golden Gate Bridge?

(Also, I'm going on the assumption that you're not asleep right now. You're not asleep right now, right? I'm sorry if you are, but good morning and I know it's 3:45 A.M.)

Turns out he only needs to lose 28.4 lbs., so I was technically off only by 1.6 lbs.

Anyway, can you tell Cap I won't be making it to the meeting today? I'd tell him myself, but I can already hear his reprimand in my head. "Tony, this is the fourth meeting you've missed in a row. If there is something going on, you need to tell us. Blah blah blah." Nothing is going on. Well, not ONE thing. Not anything I can't handle on my own.

Just








breakfast will be on me, OK?

[...]

Thanks. Save a doughnut for me.